Fathers
The word "fathers" can evoke many responses, from personal affection and admiration to a broad spectrum of experiences.
Through my work as a psychologist, I have observed a wide range of emotional reactions. This diversity highlights the importance and complexity of a father’s influence.
Fathers can present in extremely negative ways:
The stoic man who rules silently. The angry man who rules with cruelty. The absent man who rules through mystery.
Fathers can also present in extremely positive ways:
The sacrificing man who gives generously. The hard-working man who gives tirelessly. The loving man who gives tenderly.
I was fortunate to have a father who was kind and principled and ruled through reasoning and logic, mixed with a dose of humor and challenge.
As Father’s Day approaches, your reflections may naturally turn toward the fathers in your own life. You may want to pause and weigh their impact on you today.
The origin of this holiday speaks volumes about our attitudes toward fathers. Did you know William Jackson Smart was its inspiration? He lived in Spokane, Washington, a city you may not associate with much, though it is the state’s second-largest city and famous for its lilac bushes. The push to beautify Spokane in the early 1900s led to the planting of these lovely, scented bushes. After all, if a town must be known for something, lilacs are a pleasant choice. But let’s return to the story of Father’s Day itself.
William Jackson Smart was a Civil War veteran who raised six children on his own after his wife died in childbirth. He must have done a great job. His daughter, Sonora, is responsible for advocating for a celebratory day for fathers. Her recognition of his passion and sacrifice is what makes this holiday possible. In 1910, she convinced the local clergy to celebrate fatherhood. The town embraced the idea and began an annual celebration of fathers. The move from local to national, however, proved difficult.
The official naming of Father’s Day as a national holiday took a winding path that tells us something about how we view our fathers. At first, Congress rejected the idea. Eight years passed before the idea was reconsidered. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge sought to make it a national holiday. Congress was not moved until a woman, Margaret Chase Smith, accused Congress of intentionally ignoring fathers. Not until 1966 did fathers receive recognition through the efforts of Lyndon B. Johnson, who issued a Presidential Proclamation that bypassed Congress. President Nixon made it official in 1972.
Wow! Dads! Such a struggle to get recognized as a valuable part of the family.
The complexity of the journey to recognizing Father’s Day as a national holiday shows that our feelings about fathers are truly complicated.
What is your story?
Thanks for reading my Substack! Subscribe for free to receive new journal prompts, psychological insights, and engaging stories to support my work.